Funny Bathing Suit Malfunctions (and how to avoid this!)

I was once privy to an adorable game of gaga ball. The kids were bouncing the big red ball back and forth and laughing. The adults were enjoying idle chit chat in a cool breeze under blue skies. The picturesqueness of it all was so contagious that when a passerby commented that he wished he could join, a sweet kid passed him the ball obligingly.  

Now, I don’t know exactly when the last time this stranger had encountered humans under 5 feet tall but I’d guess not too recently. The way he shot that ball back into the kid’s solar plexus with such cartoonish force said maybe he is unfamiliar all together. That ball was moving with much too much force for the kid to actually catch so we all watched in horror as that red bouncy ball smashed right into this poor kid. A terrible ummph sound escaped from the kid and in my memory his feet left the ground for the slightest of moments. 

When a collective gasp erupted from the crowd, the unfamiliar-with-children-man tried to come out of his faux pas via joke. An adult joke. He proceeds to puff his chest out, arms wide pretending to start a brawl mocking, “How you like them apples?”  


Several stunned seconds passed before we could move. The kid was checked on, comforted and had even started to emit a relieved little giggle that spread. The parents and other kids, also being relieved that our little friend is ok, start to erupt in laughter. Now, this isn’t the regular laughter we are used to that releases all your tension and makes you feel great. It’s more the laughter that keeps escaping from your face when you know it shouldn’t but you are powerless to stop it. The kind that finds you unwittingly clutching at the invisible pearls around your neck, eyes darting back and forth scanning for witnesses. Of your laughter. At a kid. They are making a special place in hell for you. Of that you’re sure. But, oh my gosh. 

So terrible and yet so funny.

Just like when your friend catches a glorious wave only to come up out of the water after bottomless and panicking. You shouldn’t be laughing because it’s so terrible but somehow so funny. 

Like the time Lisa “washed up topless on a beach in front of children once. I was riding the whitewash in and my top decided not to come with.” Ack! So terrible. So funny. 

Like when Jessica told us she was “surfing in Puerto Rico my triangle top shifted over while popping up and one boob was free. I looked down, was horrified and fell. Only one witness. Haha.” We shouldn’t be laughing but, well...

We know just how you feel and we have had more than our fair share of panicking pants-less in the ocean. This pants free ocean dance is precisely why our founder + designer invented Bikini Lock.

Bikini Lock secures your bikini bottoms in place around your bottom where they belong. Hakuna Wear has all sorts of swimwear for surfers, all guaranteed to stay in place. No front wedgies. No nip slips. No becoming a booty legend in Nicaragua for getting in a jam and having to surf in regular bikini bottoms like our amiga Katy. Ha! Hey Katy Kat!

Like Kim tells us, “…(having) my big white moon hanging out after wipeouts in my high cut wetsuit shorty is just common now. Sun's out booty out? I wave my hands in the air, I don't care!” Yeeewww!

Emi made us laugh right out loud when she shared, “My vagina likes to play peekaboo anytime I think I will be ok surfing in bikini bottoms.”

As much fun as it is commiserating with our buddies about our bathing suit malfunctions, you deserve a water session that doesn’t have your muff out air drying herself in between waves.

You deserve a swimsuit that stays on.  Hakuna Wear has got you covered. Literally. 

Hakuna Wear. Guaranteed to stay on.


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